Straw Mountain: October 31, 2007: Antelope Park, Zimbabwe

Antelope Park was a stopover for us on our way to Harare and featured an improbably nice campsite, an improbably large buffet, and...the potential for walking with lions. The entire place was, well, glossy is the word that comes to mind. Impeccably kept, well run, and obviously well-funded, I was a bit suspicious of any "activities" there because it was a brochure come to life and I had not seen anything like that in months. How could the experience be real? I mean, come on, walk with lions? Just because the promo video featured a fellow jumping over logs with lions and cavorting with them in the sunrise didn't mean it would actually work that way, right? And besides, I was feeling as though the whole experience would be a bit sanitized. This was obviously a money making machine and how on Earth could they deal with the liability? I wrestled with the idea and didn't decide until 1/2 hour before the walk to actually do it, figuring "what the hell, it's only $40 and I won't be able to do this back in the States." Thank God I did. It was absolutely one of the most incredible things I've done. I feel like I've been saying that quite a bit on this trip and it is beginning to lose its meaning, but it's true: walking with lions kicks ass.

After being given laughably tiny sticks and told that was our protection from the lions (um, ok, suuure), our guide, Ed, told us she (yes, Ed was a woman) would be taking us to walk with the oldest pair of lions that were nearly full grown. She said there were several pairs of lions at the park, of varying ages, and all had been raised with human contact since they were small cubs. Lion populations have been decimated over the past couple of decades and the lack of genetic diversity, not to mention diseases like feline AIDS, etc, is a real problem with wild lion prides. The goal of Antelope Park is to raise genetically strong cubs in a controlled environment to ensure their survival, then allow them into increasingly larger, yet still monitorable, spaces over time with the ultimate aim of releasing them into the wild.

Ed said the lions thought of people as being part of the pride so we could expect that they would brush past us and bump us. We could pet them, however, we were to avoid anything playful because the last thing you want to do is get in a wrestling match with a near full grown lion. If the lions became too aggressive or gave us "the look" we were to hit them with the stick and tell them "No!" in a firm manner. Right, I'm to believe that an adolescent lion is going to obey "No!" when humans of all ages choose to ignore that command? Much less after I aggravate the lion by hitting it with the stick that probably serves as the toothpick it will use after eating me.

And what, exactly, was "the look?" "Oh, you'll know it when you see it," said Ed. I didn't bother to clarify if it was an amorous look or a menacing look.

The "look?":

She said we would encounter animals on the walk and, if we were lucky, the lions might stalk and try to chase the animals.

No, you idiot, the zebra is behind you:

That's more like it:

Giraffes on alert:

Not so sneaky lion:

If that happened, we were to run with the lions. Um, run with the lions? I believe that violates my fight or flight response. Although, in an odd way, the idea appealed to me. It's not every day a lion kills breakfast for me, after all. Determining the pecking order for the first to eat the meat could be a challenge, but I was willing to give it a go.

Ed then explained that our group of seven would be accompanied by a few handlers and a couple of volunteers that were collecting data on the lions' behavior during the walk, yet nobody would have a gun. Say what? I'm about to be in close contact with multiple predators that can take me out in about 1.2 seconds and nobody has a gun? I stared at the pencil thin stick I was holding and tried to imagine fending off a very large set of teeth and sharp claws. It didn't work. I couldn't protect myself from a rabid tortoise with that thing, let alone a lion. Let's just say there was much nervous laughter on the 10 minute jeep ride out to the lions.

When we got to the lion pen, the gravity of our situation became real: we were unarmed and those suckers were just a tad larger than house cats which do plenty of damage with their itty-bitty claws.

Not so itty-bitty claws:

My, what big teeth you have:

I was so busy trying to concentrate on my new mantra "try to stay calm, try to stay calm, try to stay calm, large predators love you, large predators are your friend," that I had time to think "HOLY @$!*!" just once when they opened the gate and the lions came rushing out before my mind went totally blank. Now I know my fight or flight response does not exist. In my case, it is simply a stand-rooted-in-one-spot-because-I-am-absolutely-paralyzed-with-fear response. I had never been so acutely aware of my status as viable prey and every cell in my body felt completely stretched taut like a rubber band, ready to snap me into action. It was, to put it mildly, a visceral moment when the lion brushed by me on his way out the gate. But I was alive. I was ALIVE!

The rest of the time was really quite boring. Ha! It was so much fun. We walked with the lions, we petted the lions, we stalked with the lions, we got stalked by the lions, we ran with the lions, and I wanted to live with the lions by the time it was over. It is definitely a highlight life experience and I recommend it to everyone.